It’s funny to note how families shift and change over the years. Sometimes, arguments, disagreements, or conflict can lead to bad blood between sides of a given family unit, and that can cause us never speaking to the people we would otherwise share something quite important with.
On the other hand, some family members know each other and retain their relationships from birth until their golden years, and that’s something to celebrate. Many of us have an idea of who our family were perhaps three or four generations ago, but before then could be a mystery. It’s interesting to note that all of us once had living relatives occupying this Earth at every single time in human history – but of course, that distance is not something easy to wrap our minds around.
But what if you hope to reconnect with a long-lost family member? Perhaps a relative has passed away and you’d like to invite them to the funeral, or you wish to make amends, or maybe you’re sure curious to speak to people you share a connection with but have never really reached out to. In this small post, we’ll discuss a few measures for success:
Finding Them Is The First Step
It can be tough to find a family member you haven’t spoken to for years. Are they even still alive? Do they have new family members of their own? It can be that trying to source them through your own family links is the first port of call. Then you might check Facebook and other social media sites. From there, you might decide to even use an identifying service, or estate. In some cases, genealogy services can help.
Writing A Thorough Letter
Letters might seem archaic to some people, but they’re truly the best way to get your thoughts and message down in a structured manner. Here you can properly address topics, such as how you might have missed them, perhaps your history, your wish to meet, as well as some nice included photographs of your family placed within the envelopes you send. Be sure to lay out why you want to reconnect, and of course, why now. This is less aggressive than a phone call, and less detached than a social media message. As such, you’ll be able to make the best of both efforts.
Accept The Response
Some family members may respond positively in kind, perhaps with a desire to address the past. Some may not want to know. That’s okay too. It can be hurtful to feel as though your efforts at being vulnerable and reaching out have been ignored, but remember that they’re under no obligation to continue that relationship or to respond. It’s polite, sure, but it’s not required. No matter what happens, be sure to accept the response. If you receive a kind message back, that’s something to work with. If it’s vitriolic or hollow, then you don’t have to proceed further. Preparing for that, no matter how good your intentions are, can help you emotionally process the outcome in a healthy manner.
With this advice, we believe you’ll be able to reconnect with a long lost family member once more.