Aging is something that happens to us all, but not everyone accepts it quite as easily as others. This of course something everyone has to deal with. A good attitude to take is that aging is a privilege denied to many, so it’s worth taking each day as a blessing and using it to remain modest and focused on the things we love.
Taking that attitude and sense of appreciation to conversations with our aging relatives is important. This way, you can potentially set a better tone for those harder conversations we must have with our loved ones as they get older. Of course, these conversations should never be used to dismiss or dictate, but come to mutual conclusions that help both members of the family.
For instance, discussing their care needs can be important. As we laid out in our previous post, supporting the health and well-being of our elderly relatives is a multi-faceted approach that should always center their needs first. But from there, discussing outcomes can be ideal. Here’s how to do it:
Outline Appropriate Tasks
Nobody likes talking about wills and legal necessities, but it matters, especially if those matters haven’t been cosnidered. Sit down with your relative and go through the important paperwork gently. This isn’t about taking control of them, but more understanding their wishes and making sure they’re heard. For instance, you can ask them to write a will, but not tell them how or what to write in it at all, which is not only unethical, it falls foul of the law.
You can start by asking what matters most to them. Maybe it’s keeping the family photo album or making sure a special piece of jewelry goes to a specific person. If you have this in writing (you can even record this for later), you can then head to a lawyer or solicitor and have those things codified in the will.
Discuss Options
It’s important to remember that care looks different for everyone. Some people want to stay in their home, and others might prefer assisted living. In some cases, you may be able to balance those necessities such as B’zoe Care which provides live-in services around the clock. Without going over the possible options your loved one may not be aware of what they are.
That’s why it’s good to ask open questions. “How are you feeling about your current living situation?” becomes way more helpful than “You should move to a care home.” This way they feel like you’re on their side, which you are, as opposed to palming them off onto a service you don’t have to think about.
Help Them Attend Appointments
Helping your loved one attend the appointments they need to go to can help them understand the reality of their situation and what they need to do to change it. For instance, perhaps their doctor is really recommending that they give up any and all alcohol – being present for these appointments can inspire your loved one to change or ask you for help in managing their habit.
Moreover, if you’re present, then you show that you’re a friend not just someone managing them. This can help them more easily settle into their years with a sense of dignity.
With this advice, we hope you can be fruitful even after the hard conversations that generally come at this age.
Leave a Reply