Change is an inevitable part of life; however, it can be challenging for children, especially when the changes involve the family unit, home life, or school. Whether it’s a new school, a move, or changing family dynamics such as divorce, helping children adapt is important for their well-being and long-term resilience.
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Let’s have a look at some of the ways that parents can help prepare their kids for big changes and help them navigate life’s transitions more smoothly and with more confidence.
Be Open and Honest
One of the best ways that you can prepare your children for change is by being honest. By using age-appropriate communication, children can often feel when something is happening, so keeping them informed helps reduce anxiety and minimizes the likelihood that they might feel misunderstood. By being transparent, you can give them straightforward information about the changes that are happening. Encourage questions, as some of the questions they ask may surprise you. Use simple language; for example, when you’re talking about a move, rather than saying we’re relocating, say we’re going to move to a new house in a new area.
When you provide your children with clear information, you can remove fears and help them see things less intimidatingly.
Don’t Hide Your Feelings
Children need to know that it’s okay for them to feel scared, worried, or even angry about change. Talking about their emotions and acknowledging them can let them know that these feelings are normal. Offer your reassurance and avoid minimizing their feelings. Model emotional resilience by showing them how you handle your own emotions without hiding your feelings. You just need to show them healthy ways that they can cope, such as talking things out, practicing self-care, or finding new ways to work through challenges. When you validate emotions, it encourages them to be expressive and builds trust between you and your children.
Keep to a Routine
Wherever possible, you need to make sure that you are maintaining routines so that you can give them a stable environment. Children thrive on having a routine because it gives them predictability and structure during times of transition. Maintaining a consistent routine can help them feel safe and grounded. If you can stick to a familiar routine, such as your bedtimes, mealtimes, and other activities, keep them the same. Introduce new routines slowly if you need them. For example, if you are moving to a new home, keep the family mealtimes the same, even if the location will be different. You should also use some small rituals to mark the transition. If it is a move, you could take a goodbye tour of all your favorite places where you used to live and create a memory box with keepsakes from the old house. When you provide your children with a routine, it gives them a sense of normalcy and helps them adjust more easily to changes.
Get Them Involved
One of the best things you can do is get children involved in the process to make them feel more connected. This can make them feel more positive about the changes that are happening. Empowering them by giving them some control over the situation, however small, can help minimize the anxiety they are feeling. Give them choices, such as letting them choose new decorations for their bedroom or asking them to help pack their new school supplies. When initiating change, you need to think about talking to them about what they would like. For example, if you are getting divorced, let them know that you value their input about visitation with each parent. However, you as parents will ultimately decide, knowing that their opinions have been listened to will make them feel respected. Show appreciation that they have had an input and make sure that they know they have been involved.
Lead by Example
Children take cues from their parents’ reactions; therefore, you need to make sure you have a calm and positive attitude to help them feel more secure about changes. This does not mean you need to pretend everything is fine and perfect; however, you need to focus on the positive aspects and opportunities in their daily life. Highlight the positives of the change, such as the opportunity to make new friends or have a new bedroom, and be optimistic about changes. When you are confident about the situation, your children are likelier to do the same. A positive attitude helps frame the changes as opportunities rather than a loss.
Give Them Space
Allow your children some space for adjustment. Significant changes, especially family restructuring or relocation, can include a little grief for children. They may need time to mourn the loss of their home, family dynamics, and friends. Give them opportunities to talk about what they miss or are worried about, and give them some time. Some children will adjust more quickly than others; you just need to be patient and understand if they need more time to adapt.
Encourage Questions
Encourage your children to ask questions and continue to check in with how they are coping. Ask open questions like, “Is there anything hard for you recently?” or “How do you feel about the new house?” Talk about any issues as they arise. Some concerns may come up, so stay flexible and attentive and guide them as and when they need it. If you are going through a divorce and want more tailored advice on supporting your children through this type of change, this guide on getting divorced with kids involved offers practical tips to help everyone through this sensitive transition.
Finally
Helping kids adapt to change is challenging; however, when you show empathy, are patient, and have clear communication, you can make the process easier. Remember, children are resilient, and when you have the right support, they can grow through life transitions and be more resilient than you ever know. If you are finding it difficult due to the changes, try to remain optimistic when talking to your children, but do not hide your true feelings. If you are worried or concerned about something, it’s better to be open and honest while showing them that you have a positive outlook for the future.
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