Description: Will betrayal finalize your marriage or can you survive it? Learn how to make the right decision and recover from betrayal without filing for divorce!
There is no family couple that may boast cloudless relationships. They go through ups and downs and nurture their family bonds together. But what if something goes wrong and instead of commitment your partner grants you betrayal? Will you quit your relationships or opt for forgiveness and decide to repair your family life? The choice won’t be easy. So here are some tips for you to take the right decision and several steps to make your relationships work again.
Finding out about your partner’s infidelity is of no pleasure. But whether you select to search for legal divorce documentsor a family coach to repair everything, don’t decide anything on the spot. Impulsive choices based on emotions often lead to more serious problems and get couples unhappy and depressed about the outcomes. So, your primary task is to let yourself calm down and take the right decision assessing the situation bit by bit.
Start with evaluating your own powers as to your marriage. Have you got enough strength to:
● forgive your partner’s behavior;
● forget about the betrayal not to let it poison your family life;
● start everything from the very beginning and build fresh and healthy relationships;
● switch from the victim role to the role of active marriage participant?
If you are not tired of the marriage, of the harm and bitterness you undergo, of the hard work, you should definitely give your family another chance and reconcile with your partner.
You should also understand that you don’t owe anyone. You don’t have to keep on with the marriage only not to disappoint your kids, only to keep up the face in front of your relatives and friends, only not to be divorced and alone. You have to realize your own desires. It is sensible to overcome the betrayal together and restore your relationships, only if you want to do this.
Otherwise, lack of desire and enthusiasm will ruin your family eventually even if you decide to stay together despite the infidelity.
Finally, your decision in favor of your family or divorce should be based on understanding the core of the issue. If your partner betrayed you because of some complicated period in your marriage, stress or pressure, serious argument, or any other significant one-time mishap that can be eliminated or cured, you have the green light for reconciliation. On the contrary, if betrayal is your partner’s repeated behavior and your feelings don’t bother your partner much, is there a point in such relationships? Think about everything thoroughly and decide for your benefit.
If you are aware of all the hard work awaiting you in case you decide to forgive betrayal and you have enough powers and desire to do so, you need a strategy on how to make your marriage work again. Look at the following steps you will need to cover and cooperate with your partner on your way to reconciliation.
Once there is a betrayal happening in your marriage, there is no place for trust anymore. But there is no reason to nurture your relationship if you cannot rely on your partner. So, the very first step in overcoming the betrayal is to rebuild the trust between you and your partner. Here is how it can be achieved:
● Understanding your partner – before you learn to trust again, there is a need to realize the reason behind the betrayal. Maybe your marriage lacks sexual life, or partners are more concentrated on work rather than family. Once you understand the thing that made things go wrong, it will be easier for you to overcome the betrayal and amend your relationships.
● Becoming friends – it often happens that the passion dies out and there is nothing behind that brings the couple together, so that spouses search for other sources of bright feelings and emotions going for betrayal. In order to rebuild trustworthy relationships, you will not be able to start from love and passion from the very beginning. So it is better to nurture friendship, mutual understanding, and support. This way your relationships will become stronger and you will be able to regain balance in your marriage easier.
● Regaining control – when a spouse deceives another one, the betrayed partner often suffers from a strong feeling of insecurity. In order to rebuild trust, it is vital to let the betrayed partner regain and share control over the reconciled marriage. Showing calls and messages, coming home on time, spending weekends together shouldn’t be perceived as shameful or intrusive but as a necessary proof of full trust and commitment to the marriage.
Once lost trust is not easy to regain. So, it is essential that both partners put in efforts, ignore their self-confidence, and make sacrifices in order to repair their relationships if they really want it.
The post-betrayal period won’t be easy or romantic. On the contrary, both partners will have to face the reasons behind their family issues many times.
If you want to make your marriage work properly, ignoring the issues and recent betrayal is a strong taboo. On the contrary, if you feel the need, you have to find at least fifteen minutes a day to talk everything out. This doesn’t mean the partners should criticize and humiliate each other for what happened beforehand. But there should be a place and conditions for sincere and calm discussions on the marriage issues. This way it will be possible for a couple to analyze what has gone wrong, learn their lesson out of it, and move on to rebuild their happiness.
It is obvious that within the challenging time in your family life you grew apart from your spouse. Now you need fresh emotions and shared events to strengthen your bonds. So, apart from your sincere talk, it is vital to spend quality time together.
It is normal if you skip intimacy at the beginning of your reconciliation. The shared fun is more important at this stage. A cinema night out, family weekends, doing sports together in the morning, romantic dinners here and there, all this will give you a chance to get to know each other from the fresh view. This will help you create emotions and memories that will shade out the negativity of betrayal and let you move on easier.
Sometimes the desire of both partners to reconcile is not enough for positive outcomes. So, if you don’t see any progress but still aim to repair your marriage, it is strongly recommended to ask for professional help. A family counselor or relationship coach will act either as your mediator or mentor and assist you in sorting out marriage issues and regaining bonds through the session.
Repairing marriage after betrayal requires emotional strength and stamina as well as sincere commitment from both partners. If you want to save your marriage, you should work hard and take all measures to overcome the betrayal, cure the reasons behind it and create strong and happy relationships together.