It can sometimes feel as though you’re running on another endless loop when you were mine; there’s always laundry, another snack to get prepared, school emails to answer or organize, and somebody asking for help with something. Then you add cleaning, work, and other endless lists of small jobs around the house to the equation, and it feels like you are constantly behind with something. Most moms push their own needs to the side because they feel that there is no room for them in all of this.
Photo by Ivan Samkov: https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-pregnant-woman-having-her-nails-done-7990097/
However, you should not see rest as something that is a luxury that you only get when everything else is done; it’s working. You need to take a break, and it does not mean that you are letting people down if you do this. It means that you are giving yourself enough energy to keep showing up every day. Let’s have a look at why you shouldn’t feel guilty about taking a break as a mom.
The Myth of the ‘Always-On’ Mom
Somewhere along the lines, mums have started to believe that they need to be available all of the time. The always-on mom looks like she can handle anything; she cooks everything from scratch, she manages school projects, she keeps her house spotlessly clean, and yet she still has time to sit on the floor and play with the kids.
But let’s face it, that mom isn’t somebody that actually exists. What you’re seeing on Instagram or even at the school pickup is just a brief view or a highlight of what they want you to see.
Behind the scenes, everybody is likely tired, overwhelmed, or probably forgetting something. The truth is that nobody is able to do it all, and you shouldn’t beat yourself up for not being able to do it.
When you try, you burn yourself out. When you are trying to do everything, you end up snapping at your kids because someone has socks on the floor or crying in the bathroom because the washing machine broke down.
Taking a break does not mean that you are weak at all; it just makes you normal and human.
How Self-Care Benefits the Whole Family
It is very easy to think that self-care is something that is selfish; however, it is completely the opposite. A mom who is able to get some rest is in a good headspace, and it brings a much more calming energy into the whole household.
Kids are going to notice that you are much more patient, and partners are going to notice that you are less frazzled and rushing around, and you will probably notice it too. Think about the last time that you actually managed to get a good night’s rest. The morning probably felt smoother, and maybe you didn’t yell about shoes or spill coffee all over yourself when you were rushing to get out the front door. That’s the difference that good rest can make.
Here’s another thing that often gets overlooked: your kids are watching you. When they see that you are looking after yourself and taking time to have some rest, they will learn that it’s normal to look after their own wellbeing and get rest when they need to. It is a life skill that is just as important as learning to tie their shoes or read.
Simple Ways to Carve Out Moments for Yourself
Taking care of yourself does not mean that you need to be going ahead and booking yourself weekend trips or going for long spa days. Those things are brilliant, but most moms don’t have that kind of money or time lying around.
What really makes a difference is when you take small, regular breaks every single day. Sit in the car for five minutes before you head back into the house. Let the laundry wait until tomorrow and read a few pages of a book instead.
Sit and drink a hot cup of coffee without having to get up to refill due to cups or to help somebody in the bathroom. None of this is fancy, but these things are the ones that remind you that you are not just a machine running around crazy.
You are someone who also needs to have a rest so that you can look after your personal battery. Five minutes here and there might not sound like much to you right now, but when you add them together, you are helping to keep yourself nice and steady and looked after.
Creating Boundaries That Work
Part of looking after your time is learning to say no when it is right. It doesn’t make you a bad mom if you don’t sign up for every single bake sale or every single after-school activity.
Saying no to one thing gives you time to do something else that matters more. This could be choosing one sport instead of allowing your kids to do three.
Maybe it means leaving work emails until the next morning rather than trying to answer them all at nine o’clock at night.
Boundaries don’t have to be huge, but they can give you enough time to take a breather. When you respect your own time, other people usually start to respect it too.
Exploring Self-Care Options That Work for You
Self-care is definitely not the same for every single person. For some mums, it is having a workout or going to the gym. For others, it is sitting in silence for 10 minutes without anybody bothering them or wanting to watch their favorite show.
Some even explore natural supports like CBD to help with stress or sleep. If that is something that you’re curious about, make sure you go to a trusted dispensary so you know exactly what you are getting.
The important thing in this is to make sure that you find something that feels like it’s actually helping you, not just another thing that you are adding to your to-do list to get completed. Finding Joy in the Little Things
Moms don’t need to earn the rest; they already have it. It isn’t something to be considered a reward. At the end of the day, it’s part of staying balanced and healthy. When you stop feeling guilty about taking the breaks you actually need, you’re not only helping yourself but also helping your family too.