Thank Goodness it’s Only a Dream…

In real life, I would be returning to work in about a week- leaving my toddler and infant in the care of someone else. My silver lining to losing my job in education is getting to live out my dream of being a stay at home mom. When I lost my job, I felt hopeless- How would I feed my daughter? Where would we live? Do I need to sell my car just to put food on the table? You can say that the months following this event I felt insecure about what would happen to my family, how we would make it, and fear of the unknown. This situation made me believe in that old adage “things happen for a reason” because it all worked out the way it should have. We didn’t starve, we didn’t lose our home or car. I’ve learned to work with what I have and enjoy every minute I’m blessed to stay home with my kids.

I remember when I was in kindergarten my teacher asked everyone what they wanted to be when they grew up. When it was my turn I eagerly told the class I wanted to be a mommy when I grew up. My teacher tried to clarify to the class what I meant, and she responded with “she wants to be a house wife.” Uhm, no, that’s not what I said, so I repeated “I just want to be a mommy.. that’s all.” That’s what my mom did, right? I wanted to do what she did- have a bunch of kids and raise them. None of this “house wife” business…

By second grade I realized I could be a mommy AND have a job. That would get me out of those “house wife” chores! So I decided I would be a pediatrician. I could make babies, raise them, and help other babies feel better. This seemed like a great plan until I got to junior high school and realized that not only was I not academically inclined, but being a doctor meant I would have to deal with sick babies, and perhaps, REALLY sick babies. Mortality started to sink in and I realized that I just couldn’t handle everything that this career would entail. I never fully let this dream of being a doctor go, but I knew that it wasn’t for me.

Once I hit college the reality of working set in- living in NYC on a single income was not going to happen. I would have to work and raise my family. Just like my mom did, just like my grandmother did, and just like the majority of my friend’s moms did.  I decided to major in education since I loved working with kids, and shortly after started my career in teaching.

Although teaching was my career goal, being a mommy was my life goal. I’m doing exactly what I felt I should have been doing from the start. My schedule is busy; full of playdates, trips to the zoo, lunch in the park, making new friends, messy craft projects, and mommy and me classes. I know that I only have a few years until both my girls are enrolled in school and I will be back at work- and back to real life. Right now, I’m just so happy to be living out my dream.