Whether you have had a baby or plan on getting pregnant, how you deliver your baby is something many women stress over. New moms are especially vulnerable to this fear, since it is something they have never done before and they aren’t sure what to expect. I feared childbirth way before I was pregnant. I was afraid of the pain and the crazy birth stories I had heard from my circle of friends – you know, the stories about the epidural not working, the baby’s heart dropping, emergency c-sections. I was afraid of the unknown.
My fears were justified the day I gave birth to my daughter and the hours (two days to be exact) leading up to it. I started having mild contractions one evening which started to come more frequently. I tried everything I could to stay home as long as possible. I took a shower, walked around, cleaned up the house – anything to keep me from going to the hospital too soon. I knew that once I was in, I might stay and be bedridden until I gave birth, which could have taken hours. By 9pm that same day, my contractions were about 4 minutes apart and my hubby and I decided to make our way over to the hospital. I walked up to labor and delivery, stopping every few minutes to catch my breath through the contractions. I was hooked up to the monitor and sure enough, my contractions were very close but I was only dilated about 1 cm, so I was sent home. Immediately after I left labor and delivery (I wasn’t even off the L&D floor yet) my contractions became violent. I was just checked so I figured, there would be no progress within a few minutes, so I went home.
The car ride home was brutal. Each and every bump was agonizing. Knowing I didn’t want to be strapped to that hospital bed, I told my hubby to just take me home. I took a VERY long shower, as this was the only thing that eased my pain, and tried my best to get rest. I knew that the next day I would be having my baby! The following evening around 10pm, I made my way back into Labor and Delivery, but this time I had to be wheeled in. I couldn’t walk or talk from the pain and I just wanted my epidural NOW. Mind you, I had no intentions of getting an epidural to begin with, unless I absolutely needed it – the fear of a large needle in my back was quickly erased by the immense pain I was feeling. Since I was in so much pain, I was immediately hooked up to an IV and an epidural and THEN I was checked, only to find out I was only 3 cm. A few long hours later, and two more epidurals later, my doctor arrived, broke my water, and started pitocin, another drug I was hoping to avoid. He told me my baby would be born within a few hours.
I stopped progressing at 7cm. It turned out my 8 pound baby was too big to fit through my pelvic bones. Pushing her out would likely get her stuck, cause brain damage, and possibly kill me. I didn’t believe anything I was hearing. I was NOT having a c-section. I was NOT going to be one of those ladies on “The Business of Being Born” who were scared into having a c-section because the doctor was impatient, or whatever his reasoning was. I was in such denial that 3 nurses had to come in and give me a pep talk. I wasn’t hearing anything they were saying. I was wheeled into the operating room, completely inconsolable. My doctor even told me as he was wheeling me in that I would be able to have the next baby naturally – Are you freaking kidding me? Next baby? Who was he talking to? I lost sight of why I was there in the first place. Inevitably I was heavily sedated in order to calm me down. Within minutes I heard my little girl crying, and in less than an hour I was holding her.
I progressed rather quickly in recovery. I was able to move my legs very quick and I was up and about sooner than I thought I would be. The real test was when I had to stop all pain meds because I had a bad reaction to them. C-Sections suck, to say the least, but my baby was here and she was healthy, and there was nothing I could do to change how she got here. It still bummed me out, A LOT. I still felt cheated. I couldn’t even deliver my own baby.
Fast forward a few years after that, I started thinking of having another baby. The fear of delivery terrified me enough to not take that plunge. I wanted a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section) but I read too many horror stories of women rupturing. Then I would hear about the 90% success rate of VBACs, provided you aren’t in a risk category. I spoke with friends who had VBACs, and others who had repeat c-sections. Still, the fear of rupturing and causing injury or death to my baby was terrifying. I decided to see what my doctor thought of all this, so I scheduled my routine appointment. It turned out, the doctor was all for VBACs and said I had a half of a percent of something going wrong. My chances would be pretty good if I had a VBAC. He pretty much told me to chill out with my fear, because once I do get pregnant, I may not have the option to VBAC for reasons beyond my control, such as a large or breech baby.
Still, the fear of rupturing consumes me, yet having another c-section terrifies me. I’ve always wanted a large family and while living in a two bedroom apartment in NYC means I probably won’t be able to fit more than two kids in here anyway- I would love the OPTION to have more kids. I know that with c-sections you are limited to three, but if I am terrified with the little scar tissue I have now, I would be even MORE terrified the third time around.
So, now I’m contemplating… to VBAC or not?
I have two kiddos, the first one was breech and I ended up with an emergency c-section..it was awful! Unfortunately in Oklahoma most doctors will not do a VBAC so I also ended up with a C-section with my daughter. 🙁
I would totally do the VBAC. I’ve been fortunate and have had 2 children vaginally, but if I wasn’t so fortunate I would shoot for a VBAC for sure!!!
I would definitely try for the VBAC as well. Here in VA, the doctors DO NOT ALLOW THEM, period. I had my son almost 12 years ago, and for the same reasons you stated in your story, got railroaded into a C-section. My recovery was awful! Fast forward almost 10 years…I was pregnant with my daughter, and I asked about a VBAC. After all, it had been a DECADE. The answer I was given by every single physician within a 2 hr drive? A resounding “No, we can’t let you do that.” I was angry, frustrated, and more than a little terrified. I didn’t want another C-section. But now I have 3 kids, and C-sections were forced for all of them. I understand the last one, being that my youngest babies are only 12 months apart. I think a VBAC 12 months after a cesarean may have been risky. But I still have the nagging feeling that if they would have just let me try with my 2nd baby, I never would have gone through that pain 3 times. You’re very lucky they’re giving you an option at all. Here, that was unheard of. Even 10 years after the fact. Yeah, I’m a little bitter about it, even to this day!
I haven’t had a baby in 30 years, and things have really changed in that time. Somewhere along the line, doctors started treating c-sections as routine. Back then, you had to have a legitimate reason to have one, and I don’t mean the so-called legitimate reasons given today. It’s really about lawsuits and convenience today. Doctors prefer c-sections because YOU are easier to deal with that way. The old-fashioned labor and delivery is so unpredictable and time-consuming. Plus the insurance companies don’t like to be billed every time mommy comes to the hospital with a contraction. So they’re in on the c-section conspiracy as well.
I don’t mean to be offensive, but I can practically guarantee you that your vagina is big enough for an eight pound baby, a nine pound baby, or even a ten pound baby. If tiny women who don’t even weigh three digits on the scale can birth ten pound babies the old-fashioned way, so can the rest of us.
I just find the whole c-section trend disgusting. It’s not the way nature intended. It’s all about money, the doctors, the hospitals, the insurance companies, and the moms. Babies are quite happy coming into the world the old-fashioned way, so let them.
30 years ago, it was simple. My water broke, I drove to the hospital, did my Lamaze breathing, and ten hours later, out popped a baby. I didn’t even have an aspirin, much less an epidural. Sure there was crying and screaming involved, but that’s what makes it memorable. It’s the way we did it for thousands of years, and we all lived to tell about it (well, most of us). C-sections are for women and babies who CAN’T go the other way without great risk.
I would get some advice from advocates of VBAC and then weigh what their advice vs. your doctor’s. I’d trust the VBAC advocates before the doctor though. And even if your mainstream doctor knows your preference, he/she will likely throw you a curve ball at the last minute, telling you why you MUST have a c-section again this time. That’s why I like alternative doctors and birthing centers.
Good luck!
UGH I just lost everything I had typed! I say go for it! After 2 c-sections and a VBAC, take it from me – recovery is so much easier after a VBAC. My 2nd c-sections was supposed to be a VBAC but dd was breech. My uterus had actually started to tear/rupture (there were 14 yrs btwn my ds and dd though so the scarring was OLD). Freaked out someof the people in the delivery room when they saw it…guess they had never seen it before (that tells you how rare it is). 18 months after that, we lost our 2nd dd at 30 wks and I was able to deliver her VBAC…even though she was breech. My Dr. said that she has seen Jewish women when she was ding her residency having 7-8 c-sections with no rupturing so I wouldn’t go with the cut-off of 3! I was actually told I can have 2 more c-sections (after the almost upture, my Dr doesn’t want me to go full term and try a VBAC again!) so it would be a total of 4 c-sections I would be able to have. You just need to find a good Dr who will work with you. I have found females listen a lot better than males!
I did a VBAC, note that when you see those commercials for medicines and they talk about those side effects that sound horrifying-I am in that category, so I was skeptical about the VBAC, as you are. I did my research, procured a Douala and made it through the VBAC with no adverse reactions. I also was able to hold my baby right away and start nursing her. My first child and I had a rough start with the nursing, as we were away from each other for so long and I didn’t get to hold him for quite a while, as both of my arms were strapped to the table because I had an IV in each arm. The recovery process was easy! I was up and chasing my 2 year old as soon as we got home. I had little help when my daughter was born, so I couldn’t even fathom having to be laid up for any amount of time with my two year old son destroying the house and running everywhere. The best part about going for the VBAC is that they only give you pitocin after you deliver, so your labor won’t be induced at all. Good luck and Congratulations again!
I live in VA, too, and had a c-section with my first. My OB said when she was prepping me for the csection that I could always have a VBAC next time, not to think I would have to continue with csections. So I think it always depends on the doctor you find!
When I had my first baby i was absolutely scared of having her naturally. I actually prayed that I would have a C-section. It seemed less scary to me because my mom had had 4 of them and she was just fine. Well, I didn’t dialate and her head was in the wrong position so I got the C-Section. Then when I had my second baby I really wanted to do a VBAC because I knew what a C-Section was like and I did not want to do it again. However, the hospital I went to would not allow a VBAC. So I had to do a C-Section. My third baby came around and I found the hospital that would do a VBAC but it was too late. They won’t let you try if you have had two or more C-sections. I really encourage you, if there is no health reasons against it, and you really want to do it, then go for the VBAC. Plus depending on how many kids you want, the doctors don’t like doing even 4 sections on a person. (Not that they can actually stop you from having kids). I don’t want to scare you at all either, but to me, honestly, it was scarier going in to the second and third C-section because I knew what was going to happen and it terrified me. I have also read that the risk of rupturing your uterus is very low. I wish you all the best on whatever you decide to do. And even though you don’t know me I would support either decision. Good luck and congrats on your baby. I will keep you in my prayers, for a safe delivery, and for your decision to do what is right for YOU and YOUR BABY. By the way I really love your blog, and I am so glad I get your emails.
Shannon
Thanks for your advice and support everyone! I loved reading your own personal accounts and words of wisdom! I’ll update you all in a few months and let you know if I was able to have a VBAC or not!
I don’t understand why your doctor said that you could have your next baby naturally but not your first? It doesn’t make sense to me.
I had 2 vaginal deliveries so I don’t know much about csections or VBAC. I do know that one of my really good friends had a Csection with her first. Then with her second 2 years later she had VBAC COMPLETELY natural. No epidural or anything.
You can totally do it if you want to. You just have to talk your way through it.
Eliza – the baby got stuck in my pelvic bone, she didn’t even make it far enough down to get stuck in the birth canal. We aren’t sure if this is something that will happen the 2nd time around, so a vbac isn’t even a guarantee for me due to structural issues but I’m hoping I can try!
Wow! I really don’t have much to say to this subject, as I had my daughter the old-fashion way. I guess I was very fortunate, and only hope that my next will go as smoothly. Labor was 12 hours, one epidural, and relatively painless. In fact, the epidural was the most painful part for me!
Blessings in making your decision, the light will be shown on the right choice for you!
I think that first of all finding a physician who is supportive of VBAC is your first step and then it all depends on the next pregnancy. If your next baby is measuring smaller, you’re not having any complications, etc. it may be more of an option for you to try VBAC. Don’t let the horror stories dissuade you from doing your research and opting for the best choice for you. Good luck!
You really have to do a lot of research and ultimately go with your gut! I have a friend who’s had 8 children.. all by c-sections..yes, I said 8!! I know others that have done 4 or 5 too. So it’s possible to go beyond 3. But you really do have to do research and see how you feel in the end.
I’m going for a vbac after 2 csections because deep down I want to try for it and I don’t want to go for a csection if there’s no need for it. I also found a midwife practice that is on the same page as I am, i.e., the trial of labor will happen at a hospital, and if need be, I won’t argue with a repeat csection. Good luck with your decision.